I absolutely love the 4th of July. It's always been a happy time of year for me and fireworks are my favorite! I think my favorite is one that looks like fireflies.

I went to Houston to be with RML for the 4th. We had an incredible time this past weekend just being together and having fun doing everything and nothing. I took off Friday so I flew in Thursday evening. Friday RML had a work function in the afternoon so I went for a run and used the bow-flex and then went to the pool for a couple hours until he was finished. Saturday we went shopping and I found some cute shirts and a pair of white capris at Petite Sophistate. I love finding things on Sale! (who doesn't?) Saturday night we went down by the bayou and set off a bunch of fireworks which is always fun. Sunday was a relaxing day - went to the pool, cooked out, watched a movie and then went to the fireworks and came home and did more fireworks. It was so cool to look in every direction and see the fireworks. Monday I woke up around 4 feeling nauseas and kept having to run to the bathroom and then once I got there, nothing. So I would go back to bed. As soon as I'd lay down within about 5 minutes the room would start to spin again and I'd run again to the bathroom. I did this until about 7AM when I finally fell asleep. I slept most of the morning and then around Noon woke up and felt completely better. Very strange.... then again in the afternoon I felt nauseas and took a nap. Woke up around 6 and felt great so we went for a roller blade to our "secret spot" and then to the pool before heading home to pack my things and relax since we had to get up early.

Secret spot - when RML was still living with "C" - the ex - and we had just met - he would go to this little gazebo, terrace type patio in the park that has all of these little fountains in it with a garden around it and then overlooks one of the lakes (more like a pond) that has a huge fountain in it. This spot is to RML as the "thinking spot" is to Pooh Bear. This is where we always go to talk when we roller blade. It's just so pretty there and it has a special meaning to him since he thought about me there when he started going through his divorce.

RML asked me to marry him there.... I said "yes" of course. I'm so in love with him and every time I go home or he leaves me I get so emotional. It's so crazy - I've never felt like this before. Even when Will asked me to marry him I didn't feel like this. I didn't even cry when Will asked me. Also, that wasn't exactly what I'd call the most romantic or meaningful engagement - he passed out by 9PM - of course from drinking too much - apparently he didn't want to be able to remember it? ANYWAY..... back to the good stuff.

I am so happy with how things are going between us and we finally took our first pictures together this weekend. My Momma says we make a good looking couple. She wrote me a funny email about how she has a "future son-in-law" report card that she has for him and so far he's passing but she won't be able to check anything else off until she meets him. I'm so happy! But, you know even when I'm so happy I'm still sad about some things. I'm disappointed in the fact that I still haven't finished school, can't get a high enough paying job, am in debt, have a ridiculously high car payment and car insurance, blew all the money I had last Spring on clothes, going out, etc. etc. I have no idea what else... nothing to show for it.. not even clothes because none of them fit and it would cost too much to have them resized so am sending them to my sister and cousin. I could be sitting pretty right now but I HAD to go to Norway and spend about $2000. WTF was I thinking? Do you know what I could do with $2000 now? Wouldn't it have been nice to put that in my 401K? RML and I talked about finances the other day and I realized how many stupid, stupid mistakes I've made with my purchases. Instead of buying a car that wouldn't put me in the poor house I have one that is and all because I listened to someone else and thought it would be cool to have a BMW. I do not make nearly enough to have this car.

OK, so I'm ranting and raving about money but it so sucks!

I'm also trying to find a job in Houston and it's so hard when I live here. I also hate that I will probably have to have RML pay for my stuff for the first month or two until I find a new job. I'm afraid to tell him about my $1400 debt to my VISA that is in collections and I haven't made a payment on since December because I don't have enough to even put a dent in that. I'm thinking it might be wise for me to find a second job until I move. As much as I hate waitressing... I might have to go back and make some quick cash. I also just called my bank and I forgot to subtract my car payment out (DAHHH!) and now have $210.00 in NSF's. Do you think they will reverse any of those for me? That's like 1.5 plane tickets... how sad and how sick it makes me. OK so now I'm depressed.