Happy 30th Birthday to my Sister Heather. I hope she knows I'm thinking about her....
Well, I was going to try going up north at the end of August for a surprise party for Aunt&Uncle's 25th Anniversary but come to find out no one I will know is even going. My Mom and Dad are staying home, Grandparents are staying home because they don't want to board their dogs, Great Grandmother is staying home because she is getting older and it's harder for her to travel or sit in a car for 5 hours. I completely understand that. I don't even like being in the car for 5 hours. Which, btw I will be doing Saturday evening with my car. RML is flying up to drive down with me - he will be driving of course. So anyway, I don't want to go anymore considering it would really be a wasted trip.
RML and I were going to try to head to WI the weekend after his annual budget meeting that is being held in Chicago. We figured that way we would only have 1 ticket... the only thing is that is the same weekend Andrea & Ted's (his son) son is getting married and I had really wanted to go to that because Lisa will be there... It always seems there are 2 things I want to do going on at the exact same time. I'm getting really stressed out about going up north because normally I fly into Chicago Thursday or Friday night. Stay in Rockford with my cousins for the evening and then have breakfast with my Grandpa and then drive the 4+ hour drive to WI to the Parent's... spend the rest of Saturday with them and Sunday AM then drive back down to O'hare and fly home. I know that sounds like a lot of driving, but when I head up North I really try to see everyone I possibly can... I completely overextend myself and am wiped out and tired when I get home Sunday night - usually very late. I never complain however because I love the time I get to spend with people I love. When RML and I go up North we will probably have to just fly into Minneapolis (2hours from Parents) so that we will have enough time for them and him to get to know each other. It really is difficult because I want my other Grandpa to meet him because my Grandmother passed away in January and I just don't want him to die without meeting my future husband... he will need to tell my Grandmother all about him for me some day... I miss her so much... If she were still alive right now I would be able to talk to her about my issues with my Mom and how to handle them... Well, at least she's spending today with my sister for her birthday... the first time in 11 or more years....
You know when you are driving and you are exiting the ramp off the highway? MOst times the people on the service road have a sign that says "Yield to Ramp". Why on earth do people not "Yield to Ramp"? You know they see the sign, it's there everyday ... mean people out there... only out for themselves... How about people who ride your ass when there is plenty of room for them to either get around you or back off? Today someone was doing that and the guy was making me so nervous because when I'd look in my rearview mirror I could see him holding onto the steering wheel while looking for something under the passenger front seat... he'd jerk the wheel a bit and look up and then straighten out and go back to whatever gold he was digging for in his car. As soon as I could I got out of the middle lane and into the right... I'm constantly watching other drivers because I'm so scared to get in an accident. In fact, sometimes because I am so scared I suddenly become a horrible driver and maybe because I'm too busy watching everyone else.. I need to have more focus on what I'm doing I guess.
OK, time for truth: I am nervous and apprehensive as all hell about moving to Houston. Here are my reasons why --
1. RML and I will be working together, riding to work together and going home together 5 days a week... and living together. - I get worried that it will be too much time to spend together...
2. My Mom is going to flip out once I'm living in Houston regularly because I'll be living with RML and have no intentions of getting an apartment.
3. Reason number 2 bothers me because I really despise confrontation and especially with my parents.. usually my Mom. My Mom has such strong beliefs that she very well might just tell me that they don't support me therefore will not contribute to my wedding and will pull the "i won't attend" card on me to try to get me to do what she wants - manipulation at it's finest. Mothers are GREAT at that, let me tell you.
4. I'll miss my friends - ok, fine FRIEND - singular - Andrea. We spend a lot of time together even if it is working together at her office in the evening.. we just talk and hang out while we work.
5. I am afraid of leaving my comfortable bubble - job I like, office I like, co-workers I enjoy, luxury of being in a satellite office vs. regional office - you don't always have to follow the rules in a satellite office because no one is watching.. for example - our office has a liquor cabinet.. need I say more?
6. Afraid of losing my freedom.. freedom from what you ask? Freedom from having to always check in with someone, include someone else, etc... I guess that would all pertain to being single. Which, I do not want to be single anymore especially since I found my "Mr. Right" but being single does have its perks.
OK, I know that was a lot of complaining but they are all legitimate concerns. The one thing I do know is that I love RML with all that I am and am confident in our love for each other and for a long future full of happiness and love. Of course, we will have our moments, but we will always respect each other and care about each other. Soooo, moving to Houston to be with my guy? It might be a little scary but I think my new "bubble" will become just as comfortable and actually a little more cushy because I will have all I have ever wanted.
The other day Madison mentioned that she liked tall men.. you know what? I do too! In fact pretty much every guy I've ever dated have been 6' or more.... RML is 5'9" - maybe 5'10"... I'm not saying that is bad it's just weird that I thought I knew the "type" of guy I'd end up with but here I am in love and ready to spend the rest of my life with a guy shorter than my norm. It reminds me of what my Mom's cousin Rochelle had said when she got married. She had always dated tall men as well and ended up marrying someone 5'6" tall. She actually made that comment to my sister and I - I think she was basically telling us that we don't know who we will end up with and so I guess maybe she was saying not to limit yourself... or maybe she wasn't even trying to get that deep. Maybe she was just stating the fact that she ended up marrying a shorty.
I am supposed to start full-time in Houston next Monday but for some reason I haven't heard a peep from my boss here in Dallas of when they will have someone in here to replace me. I had planned on driving my car down this weekend.. if that doesn't happen, then I have to buy another plane ticket to return Tuesday because regardless of what happens I have training on Monday. Of course I would be reimbursed but I currently am living out of my suitcase and living at Andrea's.. I can't stay there for too long - I know she says she doesn't mind but sometimes people just want to be alone without a house guest, you know? Last night I did Andrea & Ted's laundry so they know I appreciate them for letting me stay there temporarily.
RML is flying in tomorrow evening and he wants to stay at the Hilton down the road but I really don't want to. I know that the hotel has sentimental value considering that is where our first and second nights together occurred, but I would so much rather sleep in a bed I know is clean and have a nice shower and not be cramped in one room all evening... I don't know.. Also, I don't really think that the rooms at this Hilton are all that great. They are outdated a bit - the hotel has just finished remodeling the lobby and will start on the rest, but the rooms - not so great. NOw if the rooms were like the ones at the Sam Houston in Houston, I would SOOOO go for that. Those are awesome! Anyway, I guess we'll stay there but I want to stay at Andrea's Friday night. Here is what the rooms at the Sam look like:
Their bedding is all down comforters and awesome pillows and a very cool shower and sink.
Something I find a bit pretentious is the SAM HOUSTON statue you drive past on your way to Houston. This thing is humongo and brightly lit. I wonder if Sam Houston knew he'd be 67 feet tall with a 10 foot high base...
<"When evil men plot, good men must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind. When evil men shout ugly words of hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love.'' __Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.