Last night after work I just about fainted when I opened my mail. Low and behold the letter I sent to Compass Bank actually did me some good. Someone actually took pity on me and they reversed $224 in NSF Fees! WOOOO HOOOO! After I got over the shock of it I realized that I need to take that tactic with people I owe money to as well.. Maybe they will take pity on me (I'll tell them I have a reference to prove I am pitiful) and then they will just say that I only owe them half the money or maybe none at all. OK, so that is reaching a bit but I would like to recognize Compass Bank for their kindness. I thought that maybe I should write them a thank you letter, but I think just keeping my account with them is thank you enough. Right? Right.

RML and I got into THE BIGGEST BADDEST FIGHT ever! The requirements for big bad fights are that it needs to be over something very trite, minute, little meaning and jealousy has to be wrapped around it like a big bad fight burrito.

OK here is what happenned: Our office owns a data projector. Three weeks ago our Director of Regulatory Affairs was in town for an Energy Engineer Seminar in which he was presenting. He borrowed our projector. Yesterday Tim was going to present information about our company to the Dallas Executives Association. We go to get the projector.. Bueller, Bueller... No projector ... anywhere! I happenned to get a call from Don about one of the candidates he was sending over today for my position (Don's in the staffing industry in case you forgot) and asked him if he had a projector - only reason I asked is because his building is literally in the same parking lot. ANYWAY... it turns out he does only it's at his house. So I offer to pick it up and meet Tim later and give it to him. Everyone is happy and Tim can still give his presentation tomorrow. Well, RML got so unbelievably mad that I was going over to borrow the projector.. this fight escalated and then I got made because I felt he was being accusatory of me and I was only doing this to help someone out. Not because I wanted to see Don or hang out. I felt responsible because the projector is in my care and I lent it out and it wasn't returned and I didn't notice.... Blah blah blah -- 3 hours later we are still on the phone fighting about it. Finally, all points have been turned inside, outside, upside down and sideways and repeated as necessary. Finally, fight is over and went to bed. Woke up this morning with puffy eyes and sore throat and in a wretched mood. RML calls and I basically tell him I look this way and feel this way because of the burrito the evening before. Boy oh boy does that add fuel to a flame. Anyway, finally got that over with. I haven't returned the projector yet but I've been told that I should not be the one to do so. Out of respect I am going to have the guy who I borrowed it for and the - cause of holy havoc - return it for me.

Now my Mother is getting on my case about moving in with RML and sleeping with him before marriage. Basically she sent me an email today saying I was going to hell.

Here is an excerpt:

When you do that, you are violating God's natural and moral laws. God created sex to be a holy act between two people who are committed to one another (marriage proves commitment). When we violate that, then we are violating our own body and soul and therefore our spirit. Read from Galatians 5:19: "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: Sexual immorality, impurity, etc................and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." Pretty strong words....

Please don't violate yourself. God will provide for you if you will do what is right. He knows how much money and everything you need. If you feel trapped in this type of sin, He will deliver you of it. Just ask Him. Your Heavenly Father loves you and will do everything to help you to do right. He already sent his only Son to die for you. He will provide for you, just trust Him and determine that you will do what is right through Jesus. I love you so much and just don't want to see you suffer the terrible consequences of doing wrong. God loves you even more.

This is my response:

really do understand your points and agree with you that they are good and valid. It is as difficult for me to do something that makes you unhappy as it is for you to see me do it. However, I doubt you can and will ever understand the situation and doubt you really understand that I am committed and it�s forever. RML and I are going to make it through thick and thin and better and worse but I hope that we can focus on what is good in our relationship. I really do not know what to say other than I love RML and the very thought of having you look down on me for decisions I make in my life and feel your condemnation makes me sick to my stomach. I don�t want my relationship with you to suffer because you don�t like what I am doing. I have been praying about this and maybe God doesn�t want me to live with him but everything keeps falling into place� If all that needs to be done is vows said (which we already have promised to each other) and then everyone is ok with our living together then that�s what we will do. You know I don�t want to go to hell and I try not to live my life that way. I am not perfect and know that I have strayed several times from the way of the Lord, but I do always come back and I�ve really been making strides and big steps in my life.

I really don't know what else to say to her besides all that. Ugh!