It has been some time since I have updated. Lauren was born on August 14th. My labor and delivery were really not that bad. Yes, it hurt but I really didn't have to push that long and it was fairly routine and I had no stiches amazing as that is. I had no idea how HARD it could be to become a Mom. Being a Mom is wonderful and incredible and amazing but it is SO hard. Now some babies are truly much easier than others and some people have more outside help from family and friends. I have had no help and continue to have no help. I also feel so inadequate as a Mom. I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing... I basically read books and websites in my "free" time and try to follow those although each one has contradicting advice on feeding, sleeping, etc. RML says I am doing a great job but I doubt myself each day. I obviously have done one thing right or even overdone it - the eating... Lauren is 18 lbs! She is probably 2 lbs more than most her age but her Doctor says she is proportionate so nothing to worry about. Sleeping is a whole different story. She doesn't seem to enjoy sleeping. I tried everything and went through nights where I got maybe 4 hours of sleep and I was starting to feel like I was losing my mind. I finally started to let her cry herself to sleep. This was extremely difficult the first few nights and it didn't seem to work but than I read in another book that you don't have to completely abandon them, you can go back in after 5, 10 and then 15 minute increments. This was very helpful. She took to this approach much better. The first night she cried a total of an hour and then a bit later we had to go through the process again for an hour. The next night half and hour and the following only 15 minutes and then only 5 minutes. Everything was great and she was only waking up once or twice in the night and actually slept 6 hour stretches twice until one day she wouldn't go back to sleep and she continued to cry and then the next night the same thing only it was worse and the next day she had a horrible cold and that Monday we went to the doctor to find out she had an ear infection. This was why she wasn't sleeping. Well, the ear infection is finally gone 10 days later and we are back to square one because she didn't want to be put down when she wasn't feeling well so she slept with me. Tonight I have to start the entire "cry to sleep" method all over again. Its going to be painful for both of us but hopefully in a few nights she will be back on schedule. I don't think I'll be taking her to the gym nursery for a few more weeks which sucks for me because I was enjoying working out.. .but with cold and flu season I don't want to risk her getting another cold right now. Anyway, life as a first time mom is tough but its rewarding because she learns so much each day and its amazing to watch her development and she smiles and laughs at me and does cute things that make me smile and laugh. I love my darling baby girl... I do believe she is trying to be an only child though. My other girlfriends are already talking about when they will start trying for their next one... I am not ready for that talk now and I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready... only time will tell.