{2005-08-24}
the stars at night are big and bright

Over the weekend I had a hair appointment and had Barry give me pseudo-bangs. They are long bangs so I comb them to the side � with my colic helping of course. I think it looks OK. I wasn�t ready for full-fledged bangs and I think I will keep doing this for now. I�ve decided to grow my hair out again. It isn�t short but it�s just below my shoulders and I would like to see it grow about 3 � 4 inches. I also had some highlights put in � which is mandatory in Texas� haha.
I still don�t know if my sister is getting married in September so I left her a message today. I talked to my Momma, Dad, Promise and not one of them mentioned anything about her wedding coming up�.. hmmmm.
Saturday night we watched the movie Constantine with Keanu� it was pretty good.
Sunday we went to mass for the first time since before our wedding. I had my RCIA class and I really am enjoying the process to convert to Catholicism. RML and I will marry again in this Catholic Church once I have converted and he has his marriage annulled. What a mess! I can�t believe all that he will have to go through to get it annulled. In the Catholic Church eyes he is still married to the ex� that really sucks.
We watched the season finale for Six Feet Under and it was incredible. The ending was wonderful� I loved how they tied up all loose ends instead of making you wonder what happens to everyone� I really hate having to make up my own endings.
RML and I are going to start trying to have a baby. I�m really excited. I don�t really want to wait any longer because my body is not getting younger and I would prefer to get that chapter of my life started. I know that it will completely change my life and it won�t be easy at times but I am ready. I have been off the medication for 2 months now and I am doing well. I have only felt minimally depressed at times and haven�t had any bad mood swings. I have been careful however to make sure I exercise, sleep and eat healthy to keep from having any episodes. It seems to be working and after my doctor�s appointment he says that I am in good health and all is well. I was thinking about names the other day and thought about Alexis or Lauren for a girl and I like the names James or Lucas for a boy. I am sure I will think of more. I wonder how many months of trying before I am �PG�???? I think that is what they referred to it in Grease.
Madison mentioned today about a friend who took his life � I feel so sorry for people who feel that is the only way out of their misery because I have also felt like that could be the way to end it all. It�s horrible� it makes my heart heavy and I wish that people would reach out to others and be able to help them before they try to harm themselves. I have been lucky to always have friends and family to help me through life�s trials, tribulations and millions of lessons. I pray for his friends and family to be comforted�.
Tonight I have dinner with my only friend outside of work � Laura. She was at my wedding with her husband Roger whom RML and I work with. I guess she can be considered outside of work even though I met her through work�. We are going for sushi at Tokyohana� I have never been.
Tomorrow night Andrea and Ted are in town. I can�t wait to see her! She is my very best friend and I love her so much! I haven�t seen her since my wedding and that seems so long ago � even though it is less than 2 months� I usually see her more often. I am going to dinner with them tomorrow night. RML is in Baltimore today and New York tomorrow and Friday so he will miss them. I miss my friends. I am excited that we are going to Dallas for Labor Day. That will be fun times!
I wish RML would find a job in Dallas. That would be nice� I sometimes wonder if I would like to move back to Chicago to be closer to family. I just don�t know. I suppose if RML found a high paying job up there it would be great but I do love Texas.
The stars at night are big and bright (clap clap clap) deep in the heart of Texas! They sing that at the Astros games� they never did at the Rangers games�. At least I don�t remember them doing that.