Happy Valentines Day! Whatever. I�ve never been big on Valentines Day. In fact, a majority of the time I�ve not been dating anyone on Valentines Day. I haven�t even bought a card for RML. I will have to run over to the Hallmark in the Park Shops Center and get one. I�m dying for some chocolate and of course, I gave it up for lent. My weekend was ok I guess. RML and I went out to eat at a small local Italian restaurant, Rocco�s, on Friday evening after I picked him up from the airport. Saturday we headed up to The Woodlands and went house shopping. After driving ALL the way up there I have determined I don�t want to live there. It�s too far away from everything. I think it�s almost 40 miles from downtown Houston. No thanks! We already live about 25 and that is more than plenty. I�m in a bad mood today. I miss my friends. I miss being able to do my own thing. Don�t get me wrong, I do love RML and want to be with him. I�m just going through a tough time. Luckily I am going to Dallas for Lisa�s bridal shower and Andrea and I plan to have some good girl time together. I�m excited to see her! Yesterday we went to church, went to brunch at Le Peep, went to Best Buy and bought the TV RML wanted. I told him to just use the money his Mom gave us for Christmas. I didn�t want that money anyway since she made Christmas so shitty. We went to Barnes & Noble and RML got a book and I bought the greatest singles of The Smiths � �girlfriend in a coma I know I know it�s serious��. I do love Morrissey on his own as well but haven�t bought any of his CD�s yet.
I�m feeling really down today. Since RML divorced he has lost and had to pay a lot of money. I feel for him but what can I do? It�s done and over with, right? He�s also been picking on me about being not so smart about some financial choices I�ve made in the past. Does he not think I feel bad enough about being so na�ve and foolish??? He also said that all I talk about is expensive things when there is no way I can afford them on my own. Well DUH! I can�t �window shop� anymore? I guess when he asks what store I go to I�ll just tell him Target and Pay Less Shoes. When he gets upset about money he gets mean and angry and takes it out on whomever or whatever is around� I�m always around. Why do people get so mad about money. Money sucks. It changes people and it hurts relationships. I find it funny however that a new $400 TV isn�t too expensive and we needed to spend the money on it. I don�t care but don�t take your financial aggravations out on me when you use your money that way. Also, I am so tired of making dinner and trying to make things he likes. I�m completely through with it. Tonight I am going to the grocery store and we are having what I decide. All the things he likes take at least an hour to prepare. I guess he was used to the �school teacher wife� who was home and had dinner ready when he got home and had TIME to fucking prepare it. I guess he forgets that I am at work just as long and work just as hard as he does for minimal fucking pay! ARRRRRRRRGGGG! I�m so angry right now. It�s his own fault for having someone else on all of his accounts so that they got half or whatever. It�s his fault for marrying such a bitch. I made a mistake in buying the car I have. It�s a completely ridiculous car payment. It makes me sad to think that I have blown so much money on bad investments, etc. After August however I will no longer have a car payment. THANK GOD! Maybe RML will get off my case then and I will be able to pay more of the household bills. On a brighter note. My girl Andrea and her husband Ted are buying a new home. This home is AMAZING! It�s beautiful, it�s huge, it�s gorgeous! It�s almost 7000 square feet. Also, the back yard is huge too. Andrea and I were talking and we may actually be able to have my wedding there which would be much less considering I�d only have about 20 � 40 guests total. Anyway, time to get back to work and quit bitching.